It’s the most wonderful time of the year! (Do you hear the Christmas insanity in my voice?)
The point of this post is to wish you, my friend, a very Merry Christmas.
Even though I am quite “Bah Humbug” about this time of year, there *are* things that I like – extra time with family, possible snow, giving gifts, and sleeping in some extra days.
However, there are also things I don’t like. This year, the weeks leading up to Christmas have been challenging. In the span of one of those weeks, the dog got into the stocking stuffers that I had hid away – apparently not well enough – and ate a bunch of chocolate. Ironically, they were “lumps of coal” that I always get for my boys. Granted, it wasn’t good chocolate, and probably 80% plastic, but still.
Then I got a call from the school that Youngest had taken a tumble and had a mild concussion. Since I already think that every headache is a brain tumor, it’s safe to say that I panicked a little. But I picked him up and we spent an extra few days together, me watching him like a hawk.
Then the snow blew through. For most regions of the country, this is not a big deal. But I live in Portland, Oregon – snow shuts this city down. We are not equipped to deal with it. I’m completely serious.
A couple of days later, all of the snow and ice were gone, but not the crazy drivers. I got rear-ended. There wasn’t a lot of damage, except to my body. When it all settled in a couple of days later, I was in some incredible pain. I even took a muscle
relaxer – I should have taken something for pain, but I didn’t get it at the time – and let me tell you, I was relaxed. The day after I took one, I found an avocado in my purse. Why? Your guess is as good as mine, friend.
Shocking Christmas Rebellion
In the midst of all this, we decorated for Christmas. Our tradition is that we watch the movie Christmas Vacation while putting up the stockings with care and hanging ornaments on the tree. Husband and I LOVE this movie. We even have shirts to prove it.
“Meh, I don’t want to watch it,” said Youngest. “Can we watch something else?”
“Absolutely not,” said Husband. “You don’t like it?”
“I’m just done with it. I’ve seen it over and over, sooo…”
Husband and I were stunned into silence. Folks, you just never know when pre-teen rebellion is going to rear its ugly head. I for one am shocked. What’s next, he doesn’t like Tommy Boy? Or we’ve seen Napoleon Dynamite too many times? Is he no longer going to eat candy? Will he refuse his Christmas presents next?
This does not bode well.
The Point of Christmas Tradition
Of course, I complained about this turn of events far and wide. One of my Facebook friends commented that her dad used to remind her that the whole point of tradition is to make people miserable…especially family.
GUESS WHAT, YOUNGEST???? We’re going to watch that friggin’ Christmas Vacation movie every single day through your Christmas break. By the time school starts again, we’ll *all* know every single line.
Also, a meme was born (these are awesome friends of mine who let me use their photo):
HAVE AN AWESOME CHRISTMAS! GO OUT THERE AND MAKE YOUR LOVED ONES MISERABLE!
Three Perfect Gifts for Fun and Inspiration!
Don’t Punch People in the Junk: (Seemingly) Obvious Life Lessons to Teach Kids is a funny parenting book about the obvious statements that we never dream we will have to say out loud to the children in our lives.
Kelly Wilson’s The Art of Seduction is a funny book about sex and relationships, helping desperate people get the sex they need from their mates.
Caskets From Costco is a funny grief book that demonstrates the certainty of hope and healing in an uncertain and painful world.
All three are available through Amazon at great prices!