I haven’t worn perfume in several years, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t smell awesome.
I am a Bath & Body Works girl, almost exclusively the Aromatherapy line. Eucalyptus Mint? Yes, please.
So there’s no need for Husband and me to ever buy cologne of any kind. Which I didn’t really mind until Husband started to comment on my scent.
The Perfume of the Aging
Husband, both of our giant boys (one preteen, one teen), like to drape themselves over me. I think they all believe that they are half the size that they really are. But wherever I am, they find me and sit on me.
In the mornings, Husband gets up before me. Trust me, everybody gets up before I do. He takes a shower and primps for the day, finally makes coffee (I mean, come on – who takes a shower before making coffee?), and then comes back into the bedroom and snuggles up next to me to give me a kiss and hug before he leaves for the day.
“Mmmmm, you smell good,” he said.
“Oh yeah?” I asked. I was concerned. Maybe he was having a stroke and could no longer smell. I mean, my morning-breath smelled like sadness rolled around in a dumpster and ate garlic all day long. Plus, I hadn’t showered in what I was pretty sure was a couple of days.
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath, his face nuzzled against my neck. “Minty.”
“I’m glad you like it,” I said, smirking.
“This is different than your aromatherapy stuff. What is it?”
I turned and faced him. “Tiger balm.”
Who needs perfume when you have liniment for sore muscles? Especially when you apply Tiger Balm so much that your husband considers it a come-hither scent? Now I know what to wear when I’m down to clown.
And a meme was born, friends:
Ready to put some fun back in the bedroom? Try Kelly Wilson’s The Art of Seduction
Kelly Wilson’s The Art of Seduction is a funny book about sex and relationships, helping desperate people get the sex they need from their mates.
Because good sex can be hard to come by.
A benefit of having a serious relationship is supposed to be the ability to give and receive sex anytime we want.
But if this were true, why is sex so hard to come by?
As Kelly Wilson traveled from her thirties into her forties, she found herself in her sexual prime, much to the chagrin of her spouse. Her late-blooming loin fire created tension – sexual tension – when she discovered her spouse was not a machine made to coddle her every whim.
In an attempt to satisfy her overheated loin spark, Kelly has made several awesomely terrible statements to her beloved husband of more than twenty years. She was surprised to discover that some of these statements actually worked. Frustrated and desperate, Kelly channeled much of her sexual energy into perfecting these humorous methods of getting the sex that she needed.