Dear Heartless Insurance Conglomerate
I spend an extended amount of time in the second edition of Live Cheap and Free! (slated for the third week of September) on effective complaining. Quite frankly, if you’re going to leave your house at all during your lifetime, you’re going to need to know how to fight some battles.
I like to think of effective complaining as a training ground for bigger problems in life, especially if like me, you’re not assertive by nature of upbringing. Learning to argue about why you should be able to use a $1.50 coupon on a bottle of soap is a great place to start, and leads to the development of articulate and intelligent communication skills.
These come in handy when dealing with Heartless Insurance Conglomerates, as I am now. Whenever I need to go up against “The Man,” I like to use my (extensive) wit, well-placed jabs, and reasonable points of argument. I want “The Man” to get the point, feel some pain, but have a laugh.
Here’s a letter I drafted for the Heartless Insurance Conglomerate regarding my disagreement with a policy decision.
Dear Heartless Insurance Conglomerate:
I was shocked and dismayed to discover that I am only approved by Heartless Insurance Conglomerate for SIX counseling sessions out of a total possible TWENTY. When I began to process the possible reasons for this decision, I came up with several.
Maybe the “6” was actually a typographical error, and the “1” was left off in front of it, or the “0” was left off the end. If that’s the case, sixteen is not enough and sixty is just way too many (despite the possible generosity). Plus, if it was a typo, you need to fire the assistant who writes and/or proofreads your letters. Another reason could be that I was the unhappy consequence of a bad day, or that, like the tin man, you require a heart. This is regarding counseling sessions, after all.
Maybe Heartless Insurance Conglomerate is trying to save a few bucks at the cost of my personal mental health care. This, my friend, I take VERY SERIOUSLY. I consider these six sessions out of twenty the equivalent of giving a diabetic approximately 25% of the insulin required in a one-year period. This, in a word, is unacceptable.
Finally, I thought that perhaps more details are needed with regard to my personal trauma and present need for counseling services. {Some have been deleted to protect my personal privacy here, but were included in the letter} I was left on my own at seventeen, graduated high school and worked my way through college where I became a teacher. This doesn’t count how my oldest child and I almost died, and then how my youngest child almost died, or the many transitions I’ve gone through over the last few years.
In the end, I don’t require an explanation of why this decision was made. My desire is to see it changed, so here is what I want:
• Approval for the full 20 sessions
• Approval and Payment for any retroactive sessions that haven’t been currently paid for by Heartless Insurance Conglomerate to my counselor of choice.
• Careful, human consideration regarding the status and maintenance of my mental health in the future.
Thank you for your time and attention.
Sincerely,
Kelly Wilson
www.WilsonWrites.com
